Welcome Back To The World Of Claptrap
The Age
Monday April 28, 2008
THE language of economics is always a little puzzling for the lay person, but fortunately a solution is at hand. Change the word order.
For instance, when Reserve Bank governor Glenn Stevens says "the recent turmoil has prompted many calls for the regulatory community to devote more resources to ensuring that banks strengthen their liquidity management", try instead, "to resources devote liquidity strength, calls turmoil for community many, recent that regulatory".It makes about as much sense and sounds a whole lot better. Here are some fine-sounding words and phrases.Contract for difference Known as CFDs, contracts for difference are a way of borrowing to invest in shares that makes one yearn for the simplicity of nuclear physics.Liquidity A difficult concept to explain, it basically means that in financial markets, it is unwise to be the last person paying for drinks.Margin lending Proof that you don't have to be a lunatic to be insane.Reserve Bank governor A thoughtful and courageous man, he has sometimes been compared favourably to a pocket calculator that doesn't work, but used to work once.Property trustsInvestments you can't trust.StockbrokersJust because stockbrokers have hot and cold expense accounts and will never see all the rooms inside their mansion does not mean they can't die in a freak accident involving overweight gangsters and a set of dodgy accounts in a tax haven. Like normal people.David James is a senior writer for BRW magazine and author of The Business Devil's Dictionary. He also wrote the complete works of William Shakespeare, approximately 400 years before he was born, although opinions on that matter remain divided.
© 2008 The Age
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